Saturday, March 21, 2009

Crossing the line,

So yesterday at school, it was time for 3rd period. Yay, Ms.Cross's class, lifeskills. This class is full of interesting things and plus with a awesome teacher, talk about easy A. But yesterday was different, we didn't do work, or have to even take out a pencil. All we did was pass in work from the day before and homework, after that was done, she explaned she had a activity for us. I already knew what it was because it said on the board and my friends talked about it periods before, so I felt ready. Most of you guys should be familiar with " Crossing the line ", im very familiar with it because i've done it a couple times before back in middle school, and for some reason I felt kinda uneasy & nervous for a bit. After everyone gathered on one side of the classroom, she began...

She started off easy, just to get us moving and what not, I thought it was cool, you start to see who's with you and who's not, when your not ALONE, or maybe if you really are. Questions got deeper, and I got more nervous, and after a few questions, she said it...that ONE question, my heart stopped. I didn't know what to do, my heart was beating fast and I was lost whether to cross or not, should I ? Should I let them know, or will I keep it to myself ? I saw one of my friends cross, we aren't close but I know her, and I just thought to myself, maybe I don't want her to feel alone, what happens if I were in her position, would she do the same ? So being the person I am, I crossed...She made us stood there, I looked at my friends who didn't know, I felt like a disgrace, I felt like they thought wrong of me and they don't see me as how they knew me before. I couldn't help but be happy anymore after the questions after, I didn't want to even look at their faces, make their eyes meet mine. I asked myself, did I make the right decision ? It's off my chest now, well not completely but it is. After the period was over, I was kinda in the "Ehh" feeling, I felt whatever and didn't feel like being happy in that time, why ? I don't know, because the thought of friends, seeing me cross that line, well thats alot to know. One of my friends that was coming from upstairs, came up to me asking me how many people crossed for that one question I crossed for, I felt like she was so amazed by it, and I said two, not telling her I was one of those two. Just after hearing that, I felt even more bummed, I went to my next class, and was whatever, I guess I cooled down during lunch.

Just that thought was in my head almost the whole day, I couldn't help but think of what my friends thought about it, if they forgot about it or if they would never see me the same. I wonder for my friend that I crossed with, if she appreciated me, or know that she isn't alone, or even if she doesn't care. I've been wanting to talk to the ones who know now, to see how they feel about it and their thoughts, but I've been unsure, I'm scared of what they might say, but yeah, I was already brave enough to cross that line, but I asked myself am I ashamed of what I did, or what will others think of me ? Yet, it shouldn't matter what people think of me, their your friends and they should love you, maybe its just that I didn't tell them ? I don't know, and who knows. I used to regret what I did, asking myself if that was the right thing to do, I guess I had no control over that time, but its life, you can't do anything to change it but the future, so we shall see when time comes.

Thanks for reading, bye.

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