Saturday, January 31, 2009

F/ck that life,

Im tired of crossing these kind of bounderies, im tired of pushing myself, putting myself on the line to get in trouble. I hate it, I don't want it anymore. Why can't you understand that ? i'm growing with the things I do, but I just don't want to yet, im not ready to be those in positions where I wouldn't know what to do with the outcome. I live a happy life, & thats all I want to do, honestly. But how can I maintain that ? When it always comes down to this, and how you wouldn't understand what I would go through. You don't see through my eyes, or what would happen. I don't know what to do anymore....

Things have been happening lately, i've been getting busy, your getting busy. Things are changing, and aren't going well. It's not the time. I'm tired of it...

I can't do anything like this, I sacrifice.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

January 27th

Today was pretty chill, I mean it was cold as hell this morning though -__- but it got warmer once it got more into the day.

So yeah, today was the first day of the new semester, our last semester for our freshman year. If you think about it, that was hella fast. 2nd semester already and the end of the school year is like 5 months from now ? Talk about damn, lmaooo.

My schedule didn't really change except for 3rd period. Rather than AAS, I now have lifeskills with Ms.Cross. Yippee ? She's pretty chill, people say she's awesome & I believe that, but I will say that I WILL miss Asain American Studies. First, because I wont be able to eat my sandwiches or any other food I have to eat, that I usually eat in his class. Second, I won't be getting much of the important information we'd usually get from Mr.Santos, like about our community and stuff, which made that class so interesting. Third, how that class was soooo close to biology, we don't have to walk as far as we do now -_-

Other than that, we had fun with the balloons I brought from home at lunch. Everyone was going crazy with them, it was hilarious, I should've recorded it but I was being lazy loll. 7th period, me & Terahlyn didn't dress for ape because it was kinda pointless when we only had like 30mins left, & the hassle of dressing and crap, so we just chilled & walked around.

Afterschool, me, Terahlyn, & Janine went to L&L , it was yummy. But I had to bounce cause I had to go to my auntie's house.

& yeah, went home, homework, computer, yennooo the usual.

Well that's all for tonight, hitting the sheets, kbyeeeeee !

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I miss you, you've been away for way too long now, you've missed the most important things. You've been away too long & and missed thanksgiving, christmas, new years, & even my birthday...

I thought you were gonna be there, to be with me when I was alone when Dad wasn't home. I thought you were gonna be there with me on New Years, when i'd always help you pick out fruits, & when you'd tell me to put coins in my pocket and to jump when the new year hits. It's been the 2nd year I havent spent a New Years with you.

I really thought you were really gonna be back before my birthday, but I was wrong. You weren't there to greet me happy birthday and to give me a hug, I didn't even get the ice cream cake you always get me on my birthday. All I wanted was for you to be home with me, but I was just home alone as always....

I guess there's a good reason why your still there, I mean I understand, I guess I just miss you and I want you here with me, im tired of being alone. I miss your homemade cooking, I miss your kisses before you go to work, I miss the excitement I feel when you come back from work, I don't know why your away for so long, come back already.

You've been away for too long now, & I've been to that point where I said " I don't care when she comes back, she can come back whenever she wants..." Yeahh, I don't really mean it, but you don't know how much I miss you. I'm only hiding the pain & loneliness when your not here. And all I have to do is wait, thats all I ever done since you left....

To stop the impossible,

I try, I try real hard, but it never seems to be enough. Watever I try to do, it'll always come back somehow. It'll never go away, as much as I want it too, it'll find its way.

Don't promise what you will do eventually, because it'll only hurt you, and not only you, but me. Don't promise something you won't do, because you know you will. Stop the promises you wont keep, because they'll only hurt me...

Honestly, I try real hard to keep it in & not express the pain I feel inside when I see you do the things you do. But what can you do ?

You are who you are, and I can't change that. But like I said, I love you for who you are no matter what, even if it hurts me.

Just be smart about it, and think of yourself & the outcome. I'm only helping you, because I don't want anything happening to you now and the future. Your wasting your life, honestly...your smarter than that & I know it. But you let people pull you down, so your in their stage, just so you can be like them.

Be different, not like the others, you have alot more than that, right ? Don't waste it, make the best of it...

Friday, January 23, 2009

So what happend was....

Hellooo again, so its been about over a week since I posted a blog, I guess i've been busy with finals & crap -___- Thank god its over now, everything was easy, it all just had hella questions though. At the end of my last final, my thumb was hurting cause I was tryna finish in time. Luckily I finished & I was hella tired after that.

Today I went to the store with Jotz, bought bananas for Papa, stole some candy at Dollar Tree, & went home after that. Too bad I couldnt watch my homegirl audition at Teen Idol ? She told me she made it though, & im damn proud of her. That girl can sing, no doubt.

I got home, ate, played Balloono for awhile, & still tryna finish my "project" for tomorrow. I got a big suprise for someone special, and I hope it goes as planned.

& as for right now, im hella tired, & bored. I need to stop procrastinating again & get my shit done so I dont have to do it tomorrow. So I guess thats all for now, until the next time I post something. kthxbyeeeeee !

Thursday, January 15, 2009


So this is just another blog, first one of the new year, & i think ima really start blogging now. Because it helps me express what I wanna say & how I feel when theres really no one else to vent out to. So yeah, im really bored right now, and kinda pissed. My day was great until 4th period, ugh.

My morning was going good until I knew it was time to go to 4th period. But before I get into what happend today, I wanna tell you about yesterday. So it was just another regular, boring day in her class, people sleeping, listening to their ipods, texting & crap. And so i decided to text because I was bored and wanted to see wsup with people since we were only reviewing what we already learned. So I know forshure I was hiding that crap cause of course I wouldnt want to get caught, but guess what happend.....I DID ! like wtf ? thats like, the 2nd time ? Dude, she was saying that was like the 3rd time or something ? & I was hella trippinn cause she got her shit mixed up. & I was like watever ok, but I was hella pissed cause she was all saying that she would give it to me when she " has time " like wth ?! you fckn serious ?! But I let it pass & thought ill just get it tmrw, but I let it go for that day.

AND SO TODAY, while I was in class, I wasnt planning on even looking at her or give her my attention but I was paying attention to what we were doing & getting my work done. I didn't even want to ask her about my phone cause all ima hear is her yap and lecture me. So I decided to listen to my ipod, it was koo for awhile, then all of the sudden....she comes right up to me saying, " What is it with you getting in trouble everyday ?? Give it to me " & i was like wtf ?!??! OUT OF ALL PEOPLE, ME ?! like freals though ? you can see all these other people with their headphones on, or even see this girl CHARGING HER PHONE right in front of you , do you not see that ?! are you blind or something ? omg, you dont even know how mad I was, she be hatin on me. I was watever the rest of the period & thank god it was only mintues left till lunch.

& so the rest of the day, I felt like crap, I miss my ipod & I miss my phone. Ugh, i hate that beeezy. i dont know why she gotta be hating on ME though, its stupid. But I want my shit by tmrw cause I need it & im not gona let her keep it till next week, hell no. Hmphh, im sad & angry. But its watever....