I guess I just realized, I'm not in my best part of my life right now... And I only ask why this is happening to me, and why do YOU do this to me ?
Just need someone to talk to...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
End of Springbreak,
So it has come to the ending of my springbreak & I really don't want to go to school. I'm supose to be sleeping right now, but I can't since this stupid project & I'm talking to Joootz, chillinn right now. Were hella talking right now, being hella random cause were so tired. We don't even want to go to school tmrw so we have a Plan B x] But anyways, I just wanted to blog about springbreak to wrap it up, so overall it was pretty coool.
Friday : Went home from school and chilled, went to church for Good Friday and got my feet washed by Father Geoffrey, chilled the rest of the night with Collins and them, then went home, figuring out my plans for Springbreak.
Saturday : Went to my homegirl's Quince, it was cool, & went home tired.
Sunday : Church, eat out with fam, chilled with my brooskii, did some errands and went to SpringFling, was pretty cracknn.
Monday : That day was pretty chill, I didn't really do anything that day. Just did SOME homework, lagged on my project, and just hanged out at home that day. Jotz came over and me, my dad, and Jotz went to go get Tuttimelon before my dad went to work.
Tuesday : I don't even remember doing something on Tuesday.
Wednesday : I went to Mission Peaks with my Best, oh what an experience, it was pretty fun & tiring at the same time but it was pretty cool. After I went to wingstop for AC's 1 year Anniversary but not everyone was there but its alright. After that, I went home and chilled the rest of my day because I was hella tired. And if anything happend, I forgot xD
Thursday : Woke up early & got ready, and went to SF with hella heads, chilled there for almost most of my day, and then went back home, then went to UL to go to Tuttimelon & In-N-Out, after that I went back home because it was getting pretty late.
Friday : I felt pretty good that we made up and we didn't have to worry about not talking to eachother because that was pretty hard to do, and it hurted alot to know that I could've been talking to my Best the whole day. I went to my brother's place to sleepover because we were going to PGA the next day, and I chilled there for the other half of my day, I came upon problems and ended up going to Marina with him. Then went home after, pretty tired.
Saturday : I woke up, got ready & waited for my brother to get me. I got all my things ready, pacing myself for the hot weather and just chillinn back. I got picked up, ended up cleaning my brother's car a little bit for the meet and then we bounced. Came to the meet, and we went to PGA and left my bro with the rest of the mazda people. I had fun watching Reina go on rides and alla that, it was pretty chill, didn't go on much rides, but its all good. I got darker that day but its watever, came back to my brother's place from a long day from PGA and toke a nap. Me & my brother went out for awhile, and then I went home.
Sunday : So this was supose to be my chill day and to finally do my PROJECT, I chilled with my dad and ate, I was working on my outline for my project and then I got ready for church. I wemt to church and chilled with them emmaus people at Tuttimelon. Then I went home to go finish my project, then I went out again to get some food and I didn't end up going to sleep as I expected and ended up going to sleep around 4 ? Because I was on the phone with Jotz and we were both working on our projects and being hella random because it was hella late, then I called my Best and I was being hella random with him cause it was hella late and I couldn't sleep.
And here we are today, woke up early enough and I didn't expect it. Got ready & was ready for the hot ass day we had. Best forgot to walk me to school but its cool. Had a TIRING and HOT day, omg -_- But there was finally Youth today, and I was pretty excited. All we did was skits today, about friendship and alla that. I went home and here I am.
****Sorry, but my days might not be as accurate because I kinda forgot what I did on those days, so yeah. But it's what I can remember for right now.
Thanks for reading, kthxbyeeee !
Friday : Went home from school and chilled, went to church for Good Friday and got my feet washed by Father Geoffrey, chilled the rest of the night with Collins and them, then went home, figuring out my plans for Springbreak.
Saturday : Went to my homegirl's Quince, it was cool, & went home tired.
Sunday : Church, eat out with fam, chilled with my brooskii, did some errands and went to SpringFling, was pretty cracknn.
Monday : That day was pretty chill, I didn't really do anything that day. Just did SOME homework, lagged on my project, and just hanged out at home that day. Jotz came over and me, my dad, and Jotz went to go get Tuttimelon before my dad went to work.
Tuesday : I don't even remember doing something on Tuesday.
Wednesday : I went to Mission Peaks with my Best, oh what an experience, it was pretty fun & tiring at the same time but it was pretty cool. After I went to wingstop for AC's 1 year Anniversary but not everyone was there but its alright. After that, I went home and chilled the rest of my day because I was hella tired. And if anything happend, I forgot xD
Thursday : Woke up early & got ready, and went to SF with hella heads, chilled there for almost most of my day, and then went back home, then went to UL to go to Tuttimelon & In-N-Out, after that I went back home because it was getting pretty late.
Friday : I felt pretty good that we made up and we didn't have to worry about not talking to eachother because that was pretty hard to do, and it hurted alot to know that I could've been talking to my Best the whole day. I went to my brother's place to sleepover because we were going to PGA the next day, and I chilled there for the other half of my day, I came upon problems and ended up going to Marina with him. Then went home after, pretty tired.
Saturday : I woke up, got ready & waited for my brother to get me. I got all my things ready, pacing myself for the hot weather and just chillinn back. I got picked up, ended up cleaning my brother's car a little bit for the meet and then we bounced. Came to the meet, and we went to PGA and left my bro with the rest of the mazda people. I had fun watching Reina go on rides and alla that, it was pretty chill, didn't go on much rides, but its all good. I got darker that day but its watever, came back to my brother's place from a long day from PGA and toke a nap. Me & my brother went out for awhile, and then I went home.
Sunday : So this was supose to be my chill day and to finally do my PROJECT, I chilled with my dad and ate, I was working on my outline for my project and then I got ready for church. I wemt to church and chilled with them emmaus people at Tuttimelon. Then I went home to go finish my project, then I went out again to get some food and I didn't end up going to sleep as I expected and ended up going to sleep around 4 ? Because I was on the phone with Jotz and we were both working on our projects and being hella random because it was hella late, then I called my Best and I was being hella random with him cause it was hella late and I couldn't sleep.
And here we are today, woke up early enough and I didn't expect it. Got ready & was ready for the hot ass day we had. Best forgot to walk me to school but its cool. Had a TIRING and HOT day, omg -_- But there was finally Youth today, and I was pretty excited. All we did was skits today, about friendship and alla that. I went home and here I am.
****Sorry, but my days might not be as accurate because I kinda forgot what I did on those days, so yeah. But it's what I can remember for right now.
Thanks for reading, kthxbyeeee !
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Weak,
Weak.mp3
Because as I came across that song, it reminded me of the sound effects and weird laughes we went through going down mission peaks, and I started to sing that song because my knees were dieing out going down that damn "hill" or mountain ? Hah, good times. "Skuuuuuuuuuuur" :]
Because as I came across that song, it reminded me of the sound effects and weird laughes we went through going down mission peaks, and I started to sing that song because my knees were dieing out going down that damn "hill" or mountain ? Hah, good times. "Skuuuuuuuuuuur" :]
Wonderful,
Something ima miss hearing for awhile, but anyways...
I had a loooooong day today, it was fun yet different. Started off waking up a couple of times this morning, but I got up around 8. Went on the computer to kill time, and I started to get ready. Started to hit people up, and seeing wsup. Allie and Ej came over to kill time too, then we went off to bart. We met up with ALMOST everyone, got my ticket, and everyone elses since they didn't know how lmao. We had some laggers, but we left anyways since we had some people waiting at Bayfair for us. Just when we were on bart going towards Hayward, I had to go back to pick up the rest of our friends because they didn't know how to take bart either. So, me and my two other friends, came back with me to UC bart and waited for their butts to be there. We waited for hella days, and I was hella stressing because I was calling people one after another, and we ended up going back on bart around 12:10. After that, we met up with the rest and headed to SF. Once we got there, we went to the mall and went to the places we wanted to go. We kinda split apart but we managed to all meet up after. Honestly, I was kinda pissed, well not pissed, but I got kinda irritated because I had people call me nonstop, asking where we were and what not, I guess its cause I'm like their little tour guide, and I'm the only one who really knew the city. We finally went out of the mall, and went to H&M since Alex wanted to go so bad, after that, we were hungry and went to Blondie's Pizza right down the street. We saw the rest of the group, but most of the guys went off on their own, and the main group were downstairs eating the bomb pizza and cheesy fries haha. After we were done, we went to urbanoutfitters, and back to market to meet up with two other people. I spent my whole time buying what my parents needed, and bought my dad's bday present, and I didn't want to leave SF without buying myself something at least. So, I wanted to go to Haight while whoever else wanted to go to Metreon, but they didn't want to split, and they didn't care anyways, so I brought them all to Haight. The bus we toke wasn't the best experience, since it was soo crowded, but it was fun though. We got to Haight, went to Stussy, then to True, I got a jacket [surprising how it was still there from the last time I went there], and we headed back since Jotz had to go back home. Caught bart pretty fast, wasn't much of a wait cause I guess we were messing around alot. Hoped on bart, was hellaa heads up in there, and everyone seemed to be pretty tired. It wasn't everyone, but it was alright. I ended up lipsyncing and dancing to my friends ipod since I was soo bored, and this one fool was looking at me -_- Corey and them went back to Bayfair, as for me and the rest went back home towards UC.
Home at last, but I felt my night wasn't over yet. So I dropped off my things at home and me & Alex went to UL to get some Tuttimelon. We were waiting HELLA LONG for the stupid bus, and we kept seeing other buses going to other bus stations, so I was like forget it, lets go to the one near Logan. But just as we were walking, we finally saw the bus come upon the bus spot we were just on, so we ran back and got on the bus. Got to UL, went to Tuttimelon and walked around to kill time, we ate at In-n-out and headed towards the bus spot. As we were waiting for the bus, Alex had to hella pee, so I told him I would wait for him and that he should run, so he did, but once he got to the entrance, the bus came ! So I started to hella laugh, and I yelled at him, he came running back tryna come back before the bus came, and we got in, in time.
And here I am, finally at home. Pretty tired, had a long ass day. A nice adventure. I wrapped my dad's present, and put it in a box. I bought him a polo shirt, & I was gonna buy him shorts too but it was hella expensive, but after wrapping it, I put it on top of his bed for him to open when he gets home from work. And I guess you can say what's different about today was, I hardly talked to my best today...Actually, at in-n-out when I was waiting for my food, I thought about him and felt pretty sad because I knew I could've been talking to him, but yeah. Hm, I miss him, but you gotta just do what you have to dooo. Anyways, I'm pretty tired, so I guess I'll end it here. Gnite, thanks for reading.
Kthxbyeee.
I had a loooooong day today, it was fun yet different. Started off waking up a couple of times this morning, but I got up around 8. Went on the computer to kill time, and I started to get ready. Started to hit people up, and seeing wsup. Allie and Ej came over to kill time too, then we went off to bart. We met up with ALMOST everyone, got my ticket, and everyone elses since they didn't know how lmao. We had some laggers, but we left anyways since we had some people waiting at Bayfair for us. Just when we were on bart going towards Hayward, I had to go back to pick up the rest of our friends because they didn't know how to take bart either. So, me and my two other friends, came back with me to UC bart and waited for their butts to be there. We waited for hella days, and I was hella stressing because I was calling people one after another, and we ended up going back on bart around 12:10. After that, we met up with the rest and headed to SF. Once we got there, we went to the mall and went to the places we wanted to go. We kinda split apart but we managed to all meet up after. Honestly, I was kinda pissed, well not pissed, but I got kinda irritated because I had people call me nonstop, asking where we were and what not, I guess its cause I'm like their little tour guide, and I'm the only one who really knew the city. We finally went out of the mall, and went to H&M since Alex wanted to go so bad, after that, we were hungry and went to Blondie's Pizza right down the street. We saw the rest of the group, but most of the guys went off on their own, and the main group were downstairs eating the bomb pizza and cheesy fries haha. After we were done, we went to urbanoutfitters, and back to market to meet up with two other people. I spent my whole time buying what my parents needed, and bought my dad's bday present, and I didn't want to leave SF without buying myself something at least. So, I wanted to go to Haight while whoever else wanted to go to Metreon, but they didn't want to split, and they didn't care anyways, so I brought them all to Haight. The bus we toke wasn't the best experience, since it was soo crowded, but it was fun though. We got to Haight, went to Stussy, then to True, I got a jacket [surprising how it was still there from the last time I went there], and we headed back since Jotz had to go back home. Caught bart pretty fast, wasn't much of a wait cause I guess we were messing around alot. Hoped on bart, was hellaa heads up in there, and everyone seemed to be pretty tired. It wasn't everyone, but it was alright. I ended up lipsyncing and dancing to my friends ipod since I was soo bored, and this one fool was looking at me -_- Corey and them went back to Bayfair, as for me and the rest went back home towards UC.
Home at last, but I felt my night wasn't over yet. So I dropped off my things at home and me & Alex went to UL to get some Tuttimelon. We were waiting HELLA LONG for the stupid bus, and we kept seeing other buses going to other bus stations, so I was like forget it, lets go to the one near Logan. But just as we were walking, we finally saw the bus come upon the bus spot we were just on, so we ran back and got on the bus. Got to UL, went to Tuttimelon and walked around to kill time, we ate at In-n-out and headed towards the bus spot. As we were waiting for the bus, Alex had to hella pee, so I told him I would wait for him and that he should run, so he did, but once he got to the entrance, the bus came ! So I started to hella laugh, and I yelled at him, he came running back tryna come back before the bus came, and we got in, in time.
And here I am, finally at home. Pretty tired, had a long ass day. A nice adventure. I wrapped my dad's present, and put it in a box. I bought him a polo shirt, & I was gonna buy him shorts too but it was hella expensive, but after wrapping it, I put it on top of his bed for him to open when he gets home from work. And I guess you can say what's different about today was, I hardly talked to my best today...Actually, at in-n-out when I was waiting for my food, I thought about him and felt pretty sad because I knew I could've been talking to him, but yeah. Hm, I miss him, but you gotta just do what you have to dooo. Anyways, I'm pretty tired, so I guess I'll end it here. Gnite, thanks for reading.
Kthxbyeee.
The Unexpected,
Speechless, I can't even put into words of my reaction right now. It's pretty deep what you said, only with that, hard...But what can you do ? I understand where your getting at, I now realized that you are hurting too, from hiding whats from your heart and what you've been wanting to express. I guess it all comes around that time, when somethings never last. Man, I don't even know what to say right now, but yeah. Honestly, it kinda hurts to know what's gonna happen now, I don't blame you, and I know you never wanted to hurt me from the words you have written. But its the only way out I guess, for the both of us.
Like you said, we shared that special kind of relationship, and I'm glad to call you my bestfriend. You've taught me alot along the way, showed me things I've never seen before, and proved me things I've never thought I'd imagine. You were that person I could talk to when no one else was there, and you were the only one who ever knew my situation, the only one who could've relate to it. But it's hard, I understand. So I shall stop with what I do and leave you alone to do your thing. It's hard to let go of something I hold close, and something I grew to so fast, but it'd only hurt if it goes on as it does. Wow, I can't even explain words for you right now, but let's just say you had your ways with me. You showed me how much you really care for me, and for that you have to let go of me. I thank you for the ALL SAINTS BRACELET, I will keep this dearly, and take care of it, as it is the only thing, thats close to YOU.
I have alot more to say but, it's hard getting it into words. And from now, I don't want you getting hurt from me, because all these times, you've only made me happy and hurting me was the last thing you'd do. So I want to return the favor, and hurt you no longer, and that I'd only want to make you happy with your decision and not look back at this as a regret. Because theres no room for regrets right ? Yeah, you teached me that too. But lets just say, you were never a probllem between our relationship [me&him], because the things we came upon were just between us two. Exactly why I didn't want to put you in that position because I didn't want to come upon that problem. So don't think the things we go through is because of you, because its not. You already know how I feel and its not because of you, it's because of him. I take your words and try to make the best of our time, but seriously, it doesn't come to that point where I enjoy it anymore. So yeah, is this the end of our book ? Because I don't really know what to say about it, until you tell me what you think.
It was fun while it lasted, I guess there is always that turning point. All I just want to say is, thank you, thank you for everything you've done for me, and everything you've teached me. Thank you for showing me a true bestfriend, and how it felt to have one close during the times were rough. Hah, you came close to seeing something that you've wanted to see me do, yet not in a bad way, but a good way. But I hold it in, and I guess it's just something for next time. So, your prolly reading this as I left, cause like you said, we have to cut off all communications. I'm sad, but its all understanding, no need to regret what you have done, for the better right ? Idk why it hurts so much, but it's just something to get used to for now on, I guess this is the end. Take care, work hard, you got alot for yourself, don't mind me, I'll be fine. As long as I have this bracelet, I know I'm not alone. I guess this is the end. Love you Best, goodbye.
Like you said, we shared that special kind of relationship, and I'm glad to call you my bestfriend. You've taught me alot along the way, showed me things I've never seen before, and proved me things I've never thought I'd imagine. You were that person I could talk to when no one else was there, and you were the only one who ever knew my situation, the only one who could've relate to it. But it's hard, I understand. So I shall stop with what I do and leave you alone to do your thing. It's hard to let go of something I hold close, and something I grew to so fast, but it'd only hurt if it goes on as it does. Wow, I can't even explain words for you right now, but let's just say you had your ways with me. You showed me how much you really care for me, and for that you have to let go of me. I thank you for the ALL SAINTS BRACELET, I will keep this dearly, and take care of it, as it is the only thing, thats close to YOU.
I have alot more to say but, it's hard getting it into words. And from now, I don't want you getting hurt from me, because all these times, you've only made me happy and hurting me was the last thing you'd do. So I want to return the favor, and hurt you no longer, and that I'd only want to make you happy with your decision and not look back at this as a regret. Because theres no room for regrets right ? Yeah, you teached me that too. But lets just say, you were never a probllem between our relationship [me&him], because the things we came upon were just between us two. Exactly why I didn't want to put you in that position because I didn't want to come upon that problem. So don't think the things we go through is because of you, because its not. You already know how I feel and its not because of you, it's because of him. I take your words and try to make the best of our time, but seriously, it doesn't come to that point where I enjoy it anymore. So yeah, is this the end of our book ? Because I don't really know what to say about it, until you tell me what you think.
It was fun while it lasted, I guess there is always that turning point. All I just want to say is, thank you, thank you for everything you've done for me, and everything you've teached me. Thank you for showing me a true bestfriend, and how it felt to have one close during the times were rough. Hah, you came close to seeing something that you've wanted to see me do, yet not in a bad way, but a good way. But I hold it in, and I guess it's just something for next time. So, your prolly reading this as I left, cause like you said, we have to cut off all communications. I'm sad, but its all understanding, no need to regret what you have done, for the better right ? Idk why it hurts so much, but it's just something to get used to for now on, I guess this is the end. Take care, work hard, you got alot for yourself, don't mind me, I'll be fine. As long as I have this bracelet, I know I'm not alone. I guess this is the end. Love you Best, goodbye.
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